Congatulations, you have found the secret scouts Page !
How deep is Frog Lake?
Knee-deep, knee-deep!
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Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
A: Lean Beef
Q : What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground
Beef
Two cows were standing in a field. The first says, 'Moooo'. The second says, 'Hey! I was just
about to say the same thing.'
Q : Why did the cow cross the
road?
A: It was the chicken's day off.
Q :
A totally black cow was standing in the middle of the road. A man was cruising around a corner with no headlights on, no dome
light, no lights on at all. He slams on the brakes at just the right time to miss the cow. How did the guy see the cow?
A: It was daytime.
Q: What day do cows dread?
A: MOO-nday
Q : What does a cow get paid for her labor?
A: MOOney
Q :
What is a cow's favorite rock band?
A: MOOtley Crue
Q : What type of car does an average cow drive?
A: A MOOnaro
Q : What is a cow's favorite school subject?
A:
COWculus
Q : How does a cow keep track of her appointments?
A: She checks her COWander
Q : What is an unusually
stupid cow called?
A: A MOOron.
Q: Where do the cows go on Saturday night?
A: To the MOOvies.
Q : Where do cows go when
they get married?
A: On a honeyMOOn
Q : What
do you call a cow that works for a gardener?
A: a lawn MOOer
Q
: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don't work.
Q
: What do you get when you have a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers
Q : How did the cowboy count his cows?
A: With a COWculator.
Q : Do you know why the cow jumped
over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.
Q
: What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A: a COW-askai MOO-torcycle.
Q : What did they play at the cow's birthday?
A:
MOO-sical chairs.
Q : Why did the farmer give his cow a pogo stick?
A: He wanted a milk shake.
Q : How do you
get a cow to stop charging?
A: Take away its credit card.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting C...
MOO!
Knock,
Knock.
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, silly, Cows go MOOO!
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: So they
can hide in cherry trees.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A:
(they will say NO). Works, doesn't it?!
Q: How do you know there have been elephants in the fridge?
A: There's footprints in the butter.
Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: From stomping out forest fires!
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: From stomping out burning ducks!
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants running through the jungle?
A:
'Here come the elephants running through the jungle!'
Q: Why did the elephants wear sunglasses?
A: So Tarzan wouldn't recognize them.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd
of elephants running through the jungle?
A: Nothing. He didn't recognize them with their sunglasses
on.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of giraffes in the distance?
A:
'Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!'
Q: What is the difference
between en elephant and a plum?
A: An elephant is grey.
Q: What did Jane say when
she saw a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: 'Look! A herd of plums in the distance' (Jane
is color blind)
Q: Why do cub scouts run so fast in the forest at night?
A:
To escape the elephants swinging through the trees.
Q: What's that yucky stuff between the elephant's
toes?
A: Slow cub scouts!
A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, 'If
you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful Princess.' The boy picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog said, 'Hey, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I'll love you forever.'
The
boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and put it back in his pocket.
The frog yelled, 'If you
kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll clean your house, cook for you,
and love you forever.'
The boy took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back.
Finally the frog asked, 'What is it? I've told
you I'm a beautiful Princess, that I'll cook and clean for you
and love you forever. Why won't you
kiss me?'
The boy said, 'Look, I'm a cub scout. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking
frog is really cool.
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Three racehorses were in the stable waiting for the big race. Trying to psych each other out, they began bragging.
First horse, 'I've been in 38 races and have only lost twice.'
Second horse, 'Well, I've
been in 47 races and have never lost.'
Third horse, 'Huh, I've never lost either and I even beat Secretariat
twice.'
Just then, they heard a chuckle by the stable door, and there was a greyhound dog walking up to them.
The greyhound said, 'That's nothing. I've been in over 200 races and have won every one by at least 3 lengths.'
First horse, 'Wow! That's amazing - a talking dog!'
You just might be a Scoutmaster if:
- Most of your wardrobe is olive drab or khaki.
- You have
holes in the pockets of your jeans from carrying a pocket knife.
- You begin to think half frozen French fries don't
taste all that bad.
- You keep a bucket of water by your side while cooking dinner.
- You spontaneously break
into strange songs in public.
- You can stare at a spider web for an hour, and not notice the time passing.
- You
carry your own toilet paper wherever you go
- You always read by a flashlight.
- Your radio is always tuned
to the weather station.
- You hoard tent stakes.
- You wear 2 pairs of socks to bed.
- You keep a lantern
hanging outside your bathroom door.
- You sleep under a trash bag.
- You cannot walk by a piece of trash without
picking it up.
- You carry a duffle bag size first-aid kit in your car.
- You always have hat hair.
- You
continue to wear it until it stands on it's own.
- You're always counting how many matches you have left.
- You
know all the words to "Little Bunny Foo-Foo", but can't remember where you left your briefcase.
- You
see paint samples in a store and immediately want to name things in nature with the same colors.
- Your pots and pans
are all black.
- You roast a mini-marshmallows on a paper clip over a candle; then put it on a golden graham with
one square of chocolate, just to get the flavor.
- You always cook enough food for twelve.
- Pie iron pizzas
is the best meal you've had all week.
- You always have a cup hooked to your belt.
- All your clothes have
little pieces of egg stuck on them.
- You own little bits of every color felt.
- You open letters with a pocket
knife.
- You have something on your shoe...and you're sure it's only mud.
- You eat ants on a log and
like it.
- You wear bread bags on your feet.
- You know 365 one pot meals.
- Your "microwave"
is a box wrapped in foil.
- When opening large gifts, you wonder if you have a piece of foil large enough to cover
it.
- You buy your shampoo in little tiny bottles.
- You order pizzas 14 at a time.
- You have to urge
to help little old ladies...whether they want it or not.
- Everything in your cupboard says "instant, just add
water".
- Your neighbors hide when they see you going door to door with "that order form" again.
- You
have to go to the restroom and you start looking for a buddy.
- You really do use those emergency sewing kits.